11/23/08:  "Since I first saw Universal Soldier back in 1992, I have held yet another of my extreme minority opinions:  Jean-Claude Van Damme, the kickboxing action star nicknamed “The Muscles from Brussels” has real acting chops.  His heyday was brief, but in a period between the summers of '92 through '96, the former karate champion gave great performances in Soldier, Nowhere to Run, Timecop and Sudden Death, along with solid star turns in The Quest, Hard Target and the underrated camp gem Street Fighter.  What made him special was an emotional accessibility you'd never get from his contemporaries like Steven Segal or Dolph Lundgren.  From there, bad career choices like co-starring with Dennis Rodman in Double Team and a real-life cocaine habit conspired to drop him into the direct-to-video dustbin with shocking speed.  But now, over a decade later, the inspired French thriller JCVD hands the 48 year-old the role of the lifetime:  himself.  

Jean-Claude Van Damme is at the end of his rope.  Stumbling off the set of another direct-to-video turkey, he's fighting a losing battle for custody of his daughter (Saskia Flanders) complicated by the fact that his check to his attorney (Alan Rossett) just bounced." MORE

7/16/08:  "Here is a movie that is headed in two totally different historical directions, both of them pretty delightful.  Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D (not to be confused with the plain old Journey to the Center of the Earth those of you in 2D theaters are seeing) represents the cutting edge of digital 3D technology (it's the first scripted live-action movie shot in RealD) at the same time as its' story hearkens back to a simpler time when movie characters were mostly unencumbered by vast conspiracies, dark character arcs and Shaymalanesque plot twists, and knew that solving their interpersonal problems was as simple as outrunning the nearest rampaging dinosaur.  The kid in you will have a ball.  Those without much kid in them might want to bring a book.

The story beings with a man (Jean-Michael Pare) being chased through volcanic underground tunnels by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.  He slips and falls into a magma-filled crevice.  Fast forward ten years and we learn that man was Max Anderson, the brother of scientist Trevor Anderson (Brendan Frasier), who's about to lose all funding for his ongoing monitoring of his brother's fading system of seismic sensors.  He's also got an unwanted guest on his doorstep, Max's surly young son Sean (John Hutcherson), whose mother leaves him with Trevor while she scouts out a new family home in Canada." MORE

2/16/08:  "What horrifying tales of production terror this movie must have to tell!  I may be alone in this, but I've often daydreamed about being able to teleport myself around the world (and even just to work), so when I saw Jumper's spiffy trailer, my hopes were high.  Little did I suspect that the movie's 87 minute running time would be filled out with what are presumably (shudder) the best scenes shot during a long and torturous production that included the replacement of both original stars, name actors reduced to minutes or even seconds of screen time, and a plot that merely hints at coherence.  None of this might have been necessary had any of its' stars or three credited writers been able to lick the hard truth at the film's center:  no matter how many gee-wiz effects and globe-trotting locations we see, not one of Jumper's characters is worth giving the slightest damn about.

Life was tough for young David Rice (Max Thieriot):  abandoned at the age of 5 by his mother Mary (Diane Lane) and left with alcoholic father William (Michael Rooker), he was an outcast at school, tolerated only by girl of his dreams Millie (AnnaSophia Robb).  After slipping through the ice on a pond, he's presumed dead, but in fact has discovered the remarkable ability to teleport himself to safety with his mind." MORE

1/12/08:  "OK, let me be the first to declare the Sundance Revolution over.  The generation of filmmakers first cultivated, then inspired by the products of Robert Redford's institute and its' companion film festival turned Hollywood upside down and created a fully functioning and highly profitable set of shadow studios that specialize in “independent” films.  What the whole Indie thing is supposed to mean to us is that we're getting the individualized visions of people with diverse and exciting backgrounds who have things to say that the average Hollywood movie can't get its' head out of its' Spago's menu long enough to imagine, let alone film.  But after seeing Juno, the much-hyped and quite entertaining teen pregnancy comedy with its' wonderful performances and first-rate screenplay by former exotic dancer Diablo Cody, I can't shake the thought that it would have been better, amazing even, if only it could have shaken the indie cliché manner in which it was filmed.  Alert the media:  those Miramax kids are now The Man.

Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) is a smart, witty 16-year-old with a problem:  she's pregnant thanks to that one time she had sex with her friend Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera)." MORE