Reviewed by Lamar Kukuk
10/3/10
Gizzard (giz'erd) NOUN: A modified
muscular pouch behind the stomach in the alimentary canal of birds, having
a thick lining and often containing ingested grit that aids in the breakdown
of seeds before digestion.-from the Houghton Mifflin dictionary
3D is great. From the
studios' point of view, because it allows theaters to charge between two
and five extra dollars for every ticket sold. From the viewer's,
it's because of the stunning, unprecedented visuals it allows for if used
by filmmakers committed to the technology. Cheapo 3D “conversions”
have dominated this year's release schedule, alongside animated features
with a less-than-complete commitment to being all they could be in the
third dimension. No such issues haunt Legend of the Guardians:
The Owls of Ga'Hoole, Zack Snyder's animated adaptation of the opening
chapters of Kathryn Laskey's similarly titled book series. Ga'Hoole
is, simply, as amazing to look at as any movie ever made. Animated
by the Animal Logic artists who worked on George Miller's Oscar-winning
Happy Feet, the film glows with rich colors,
imaginative fight choreography and ridiculously realistic-looking feathers,
all presented in stunning 3D. If only they could have turned the
sound down. We all know that fantasy adventure sagas follow an established
template, filled in with certain details that separate each movie from
the others. The details that make Guardians' story its own,
walk the line between ridiculous and incoherent, and little touches like
silly comic relief and an original song by (forbid it, almighty God) Owl
City undo the stately, Lord of the Rings tone the filmmakers wish
to set. Legend of the Guardians really does look good enough
to justify the price of admission, especially if you're into 3D, but it
is stone cold dumb, and on DVD could inspire a hell of a drinking game
built around a certain word...
In the Kingdom of Ga'Hoole,
most everybody's an Owl, although there are snakes and bats and the like
as well. Soren (voice of Jim Sturgess) is a dreamer and lover of
stories, particularly those his father Noctus (Hugo Weaving) tells of the
Guardians of Ga'Hoole, heroic Owls who've sworn to defend the Kingdom from
all threats. The Guardians may or may not be real, which makes his
bitter, angry brother Kludd (Ryan Kwanten) almost as tired of the stories
as of Soren being better at flight training than he is. One night,
the brothers fall from a tree while competing at gliding and are abducted
by Owls loyal to The Pure Ones, a cult of warriors led by evil Owls Metalbeak
(Joel Edgerton) and Nyra (Helen Mirren). They abduct young owls by
the scores and train the toughest to fight and “moon blink” the weak into
a zombie-like state where they help scavenge for “flecks”, which are being
gathered to produce an anti-Owl ultimate weapon. Soren and fellow
captive Gylfie (Emily Barclay) escape and join comic relief goofballs Digger
(David Wenham) and Twilight (Anthony LaPaglia) in search of the Guardians,
who might save Owlkind from the Pure Ones' tyranny. They do in fact
find The Great Tree in which the Guardians live, and a shellshocked warrior
named Ezylryb (Geoffrey Rush) trains Soren in the talents of war.
But as they prepare for a showdown with the Pure Ones, a traitor lurks
in the Guardians midst, and Metalbeak prepares to use the flecks to destroy
them once and for all.
Sounds reasonable enough,
right? OK, here's the score: young owls are kidnapped by the
Pure Ones and made to sleep under the full moon for a single night, which
“moon blinks” them into dull-eyed zombies who pick through other owls'
“pellets” (the coughed-up remains of mice their digestive systems have
pulled all the nutrients out of) for “flecks”, glowing blue something-or-other
that, when gathered together, have the power to pin anything with a gizzard
to the ground, where vampire bats will suck their blood, having no gizzards
to affect. No, really. Laskey would probably be within her
rights to sue, as the Wikipedia synopsis of her book series shows that
all this makes far more sense within its pages, while writers John Orloff
and Emil Stern have compressed the details with such little regard for
logic or even basic sense (granted, with deep respect for gizzards) that
it's impossible to imagine why anybody reads these things. The script
hits the word “gizzard” every 90 seconds or so in a variety of contexts
none of which ultimately seems right. Telling Soren to fly not with
his mind, but with his gizzard is kinda like Obi-Wan Kenobi advising Luke
Skywalker to search his colon for the Force. Try putting THAT on
a T-shirt...
But man, oh, man The Guardians
of Ga'Hoole looks great. We're accustomed by now to the skill
modern animation has in making the individual hairs, feathers, etc. of
animals move with realism and grace, but this sort of thing has never looked
better in or out of 3D. The owls have a painterly grace that would
make virtually any still from the movie suitable for framing, and that
gorgeous detail extends to pretty much everything on screen. The
3D is stunning, even when depicting ridiculous things like the diabolical
flecks or the previously unknown owl-brainwashing powers of the moon.
With Zack Synder running
the show, you'd expect the action to be impressive, and it certainly is.
Armies of Owls face off in armor and brandishing swords and staffs in their
claws, and much work was put into not only the strategies of Owl War, but
also the way creatures with two limbs, two wings and a beak would fight.
The animation work on their musculature is also spectacular, and I don't
know if I've ever seen animated creatures that looked so much like their
movements were caused by real muscles under their skin. The climax
is heavy on nonsense (just why is the forest on fire?), but also heavy
on awesome. In many ways, Legend of the Guardians is like
300 for Kids.
Given how many “huh?” moments
it contains, it wouldn't surprise me at all if Legend of the Guardians:
The Owls of Ga'Hoole went through a post-production process as tortured
as its title, leaving a whole lot of transition, explanation and simple
sense on the cutting room floor. I recommend it as a remarkable visual
experience with spectacular action, but advise that the ability to switch
your brain off and/or go with the flow of a nonsensical plot are essentials
to having a good time. And if it's not in 3D, slash a star off the
rating... let your gizzard be your guide. |
